If you have children or grandchilren, you know how their toys and gadgets have changed from what we knew in our day. Elaborate electronics. Complicated computers. Interactive intercoms. Older kids have My Space, Facebook, Skype online phones, instant messaging, and reality TV. Eight-tracks from our generation have been replaced by i-Pods, black-and-white televisions with giant flatscreens, puzzles with video games, and bicycles with 4-wheelers (albeit several generations of genius later). Never mind the expense involved in purchasing these outlandish products, we have trouble adapting our transistor-radio-fax-machine mentality to the changes, and we fail to connect with our loved ones.

Let me propose you think about this disconnect another way as you head into the holiday season. You probably won't purchase the most outlandish "toys" for your child even if you have the means, but by recognizing and acknowledging that's where their generation is, you're on your way to reconnecting with them. You're the one who loves them most, why not also gain the most influence in their world?

It begins by understanding two characteristics that define them as a whole (not just your child as an individual):
1. They're visual. From special-effects movies to music videos, our kids can take in, sort through, and even memorize the things they see/observe incredibly well. They can absorb more visual information than previous generations because of their training through hundreds of hours of TV (reported to be about 22 hours each week.) But the downside of this visual acumen is the decreasing ability to focus on any one subject for extended periods of time. They get bored easily, as they have grown up being entertained by noise and activity. They haven't had many opportunities to do nothing, relax, read, or reflect. This results in weaker verbal skills and slower emotional, intellectual, and developmental maturity.

2. They're hands-on. Technology is a natural part of their world, as we all know when we have questions regarding our computers. Dave and I once called Clint at college to see if we had to rewind a DVD. From kindergarten on, they hold the controls and possess the knowledge to endless technology.

So how can you best reach your son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter described above with relationship and most importantly with faith?

We know that this generation (again as a whole) are seekers. Problem is, if they don't have the truth set squarely and constantly in front of them, they'll get behind the lie. I heard a Focus on the Family broadcast once, where a man talked of sending his son off to kindergarten for the first time. The thoughts of challenges and temptations his up-until-now-protected child would face overwhelmed and concerned the father. That night, Dad walked outside, where he observed a huge airplane in the sky. The bright lights of that mechanical "monster" accelerated his concern for his child. But suddenly, a tiny firefly (or lightning bug as we used to call them) flew in front of his face and obliterated the giant light above.

If you and I are to keep our kids walking in the truth, we must keep that truth always before them so that it will obliterate the lies. Visually, they must see it lived out consistenly in our own lives. By watching us, they must learn where to go and Who to go to when decisions come and troubles arise. And spending time with them is the only way to get this opportunity and earn their trust. Though many true relationships have been replaced by what children can watch or manipulate, the need for tangible love and observable relationships is greater than ever. To them, love is spelled T.I.M.E. Read or tell them stories. Make hikes regular and exciting and directed back to the Word. Take field trips. Travel with them. Study current events together and help them find appropriate scriptural guidance in each matter. Pray together about important things in your lives. Expand their world in godly ways. Talk about God when you lie down and when you rise up (Deu. 11:19).

Hands-on, the child needs something he or she can be directly involved with. I have often told parents to never take away one thing without putting another thing better back in its place. Send them on mission's trips and to Christian concerts they enjoy. Buy them books, videos, games, and CDs that match their style. Expose them to vibrant, mature Christians whose lives you would like them to emulate. Help them connect with overseas penpals. Let them become part of some ministry in your area, such as a homeless shelter or working with troubled youths.

My list here is limited, but I hope the wheels in your mind are starting to turn around ways to reach your own child or grandchild. Make it visual and make it hands-on whenever possible. Most of all, do it! Just by extending the effort and spending the time, you will have taken huge steps toward reconnecting and affecting for eternity.

Our children are looking to us for guidance and to find something different. Don't let them turn away because they don't find anything from us that they can't find in the world. We've got The Answer living inside us. Let's regularly and consistently and creatively and appropriately pass it on to our kids.